Many feel that going tp the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
Whilst some
people
believe that the best way to be fit is going to a gym
, others believe that there are different and more effective ways. This
essay discusses both sides and explains why I believe that being a member
of a gym
is the best choice.
Doing sport
is a need for humans. Moreover
, it helps people
be in a better mental state. Unfortunately, we don’t pay essential attention to our health. Bad dietary habits make us be
fatter day by day. Unnecessary verb
apply
Therefore
, an individual should do sport
with discipline. So, being a member
of a gym
is the best way to do sport
according to
a plan. In addition
, people
pay some money for the membership and this
encourages them to go to the gym
. For example
, my friend has always wanted to do fitness. Thus
, he bought a lot of body-building equipment for his home. But, afterwards, he quit doing sport
since it became boring to do it alone. Then
, he became a member
of a gym
and worked with a trainer. Hence
, he felt obliged to go to the gym
. Finally
, he is a slim guy right now.
On the other hand
, others believe that there are many efficient ways to be fit. It is certain that there are a lot of options. Even more, most of them are cheaper than being a member
of a gym
. Therefore
, people
walk around the parks, cycle, or run in the forest to stay fit. In addition
, following a special dietary plan helps a lot to be fit. For instance
, my mom hasn’t been a member
of any gym
. She lost her weight by sticking to a challenging dietary plan and taking long walks. Today, she still does the same and she stays fit. Moreover
, she pays nothing for it.
In conclusion, it is true that there are many options to stay fit. However
, in modern life, people
cannot find spare time easily. After a busy day, they prefer staying at home to doing sports. In my opinion, people
should be a member
of a gym
. Because they pay money for the gym
, they feel obliged to go to the gym
and do sport
.Submitted by a.muratdemircan on
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coherence cohesion
Try to elaborate more on each point instead of moving quickly from one idea to another. For instance, you can discuss the mental benefits of exercising at a gym versus other methods.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using transitional phrases more effectively can make your essay smoother and easier to follow.
task achievement
Make sure to cover both perspectives with equal depth and provide more analysis to each of them. This will help in providing a balanced view of both arguments.
task achievement
It would be helpful to expand on the examples provided, adding a bit more detail to make them even more relevant and compelling.
overall
Consider adding a few more advanced vocabulary words and structures to further demonstrate your language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion. This aids in understanding your overall argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples are used to support points, making the writing compelling and relatable.
task achievement
Sound reasoning and logical arguments presented throughout the essay. Your opinion is clear and well-explained.
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