Many feel that going tp the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#tp #gym #methods

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Whilst some

people

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believe that the best way to be fit is going to a

gym

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, others believe that there are different and more effective ways.

This

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essay discusses both sides and explains why I believe that being a

member

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of a

gym

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is the best choice. Doing

sport

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is a need for humans.

Moreover

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, it helps

people

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be in a better mental state. Unfortunately, we don’t pay essential attention to our health. Bad dietary habits make us

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fatter day by day.

Therefore

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, an individual should do

sport

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with discipline. So, being a

member

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of a

gym

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is the best way to do

sport

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according to

Linking Words

a plan.

In addition

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people

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pay some money for the membership and

this

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encourages them to go to the

gym

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For example

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, my friend has always wanted to do fitness.

Thus

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, he bought a lot of body-building equipment for his home. But, afterwards, he quit doing

sport

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since it became boring to do it alone.

Then

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, he became a

member

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of a

gym

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and worked with a trainer.

Hence

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, he felt obliged to go to the

gym

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Finally

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, he is a slim guy right now.

On the other hand

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, others believe that there are many efficient ways to be fit. It is certain that there are a lot of options. Even more, most of them are cheaper than being a

member

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of a

gym

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Therefore

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people

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walk around the parks, cycle, or run in the forest to stay fit.

In addition

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, following a special dietary plan helps a lot to be fit.

For instance

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, my mom hasn’t been a

member

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of any

gym

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. She lost her weight by sticking to a challenging dietary plan and taking long walks. Today, she still does the same and she stays fit.

Moreover

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, she pays nothing for it. In conclusion, it is true that there are many options to stay fit.

However

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, in modern life,

people

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cannot find spare time easily. After a busy day, they prefer staying at home to doing sports. In my opinion,

people

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should be a

member

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of a

gym

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. Because they pay money for the

gym

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, they feel obliged to go to the

gym

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and do

sport

Use synonyms

Submitted by a.muratdemircan on Sun Sep 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to elaborate more on each point instead of moving quickly from one idea to another. For instance, you can discuss the mental benefits of exercising at a gym versus other methods.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving your transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using transitional phrases more effectively can make your essay smoother and easier to follow.

task achievement

Make sure to cover both perspectives with equal depth and provide more analysis to each of them. This will help in providing a balanced view of both arguments.

task achievement

It would be helpful to expand on the examples provided, adding a bit more detail to make them even more relevant and compelling.

overall

Consider adding a few more advanced vocabulary words and structures to further demonstrate your language proficiency.

coherence cohesion

Clear structure with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion. This aids in understanding your overall argument.

task achievement

Relevant examples are used to support points, making the writing compelling and relatable.

task achievement

Sound reasoning and logical arguments presented throughout the essay. Your opinion is clear and well-explained.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

365 words

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Many feel that going tp the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilitates than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. Agree or disagree?

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?e?