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Band 6

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people
Hollywood and other
film
 industries across the globe are quite famous and the artists who work in these industries somehow represent an as lousy role model for youngsters. While I agree that youngsters do not get to learn proper
life
 lessons from these
film
 stars, there are some successful people in the
film
industry
 who are skilled and inspired many people.
However
, there are many reasons why movie stars are a lousy role model for young people.
Firstly
, these superstars
wear
Suggestion
wears
 expensive brand clothes, which symbolize the success in the form of money and even they show off through social media; which in result has a bad influence on children as they follow these Hollywood actors closely and apt their lifestyle.
For example
: nowadays teenagers started to spend
parents
Suggestion
parents'
 money on the branded clothes, and they waste their time on social media to grab more followers to increase their popularity because they think that being famous on social apps is a success.
Furthermore
, these youngsters focus more on social media
instead
 of real
life
, that means they change their
life
 goal;
therefore
, celebrities distracting them from their career goals and spoiling their future.
On the other hand
, there are a few celebrities who can set good motivator for young people. These artists gain their success in the
industry
 because of excellent acting skill, communication skills, etc.
whereas
Suggestion
Whereas
 other actors brought up from
the wealthy
Suggestion
wealthier
 families and they have not struggled in the
industry
.
For example
; Jackie Chan is the well-known movie star as he struggled in his
life
 to gain a superstar reputation in the
film
industry
 as well as he knows martial art and he is post graduated. These actors can undoubtedly motivate
the young
Suggestion
the younger
younger
 generations if they follow their
life
 story and their activities on the internet or social media. In conclusion, artists can be wrong as well as a good influence on teenagers, but it all depends on the young people whom they like and follow.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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