IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

2. It was suggested that everyone in the world wants to own a car, a TV and a fridge. Do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweigh advantages?

#world #car #tv #fridge #development
There has been tremendous changes in the lifestyle of individuals. The purchasing power of people has increased in the recent times and, the want towards material things
such
 as owning a car, television and fridge has
also
 increased.
Although
,
this
 want to help in making the life of an individual more convenient, it
also
 has various disadvantages. In my view, the advantages overweight the disadvantages. There are two main disadvantages of people's inclination towards buying appliances. The
first
 one being, with the availability of these appliances, it makes the individual more lazy and lethargic. People nowadays, are more dependent on the usage of these appliances and have been ignoring any physical exercise. To illustrate, people use extensive use of vehicles, which reduces their physical activity.
This
 could lead to various health issues
such
 as, obesity.
In addition
, people tend to become more materialistic. People watch a lot of tv or use mobiles.
This
 could have an adverse effect on their family relations, as they spend minimum time with their family and they are more engrossed in watching television.
However
, when individuals can afford all these things, it means the economy of that country is growing. People's purchasing power has increased, and there is more surplus money for them to spend on things apart from their basic necessities.
Furthermore
, the usage of these appliances has made the life of an individual more convenient. People now can easily commute long distances to their work, people are
also
 able to relieve their stress by watching television. The development of technology has been beneficial for the whole society. To conclude, people will have trend to become more materialistic in today's world as they need to buy the latest automobiles and appliances has increased.
However
,
this
 has more advantages as it adds convenience to a person's day to day life.
Furthermore
, an increase in the purchasing power of individuals is a positive sign for the nation.
Submitted by manjusuren18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: