IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crimes #prisoners #prison #sentences #alternative
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It’s undeniable that
crime
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 of all forms causes innumerable problems
to
Suggestion
of
 the society,
therefore
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 solutions need to be found to tackle it soon. While some people argue that imprisoning criminals for a longer time may effectively lower the
crime
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 rate, I believe other feasible solutions are able to deter criminals as well. On the one hand, some people support the view that the incidence of
crime
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 can be reduced significantly by forcing offenders to serve a longer prison sentence.
This
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 is because the fear of harsher punishment stops people from committing a
crime
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. In the past, some people became involved with crimes as they thought that the sentence was not severe enough. If the offenders were sentenced to a longer prison, potential criminals would probably have given up when they take the higher
crime
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 cost into consideration.
On the other hand
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, there are some reasonable and effective measures the government could take to deter crimes.
To begin
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 with, the government could implement more preventive
measures including
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measures, including
 increasing the number of police offices on patrol and installing more video cameras in public spaces to curb
crime
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,
thus
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 achieving a more peaceful community.
Besides
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, rehabilitation is
also
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 of significant help to reduce the possibility of repeated
crime
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. Criminals that have received education or vocational training are prepared for a paid job, from which they get income and self-recognition, to prevent them from re-offending. While longer prison sentence results in lower
crime
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 rate, in my opinion, preventive and rehabilitative measures
also
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 play an essential part in curbing crimes.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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