The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the development of technology,
people
Use synonyms
tend to use electronic
media
Use synonyms
more and more. Some
people
Use synonyms
think that it affects negatively
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
relationships
Use synonyms
. Personally, I agree with
this
Linking Words
idea, but I still believe it has some positive effects as now will be explained. On one hand, electronic
media
Use synonyms
are likely to
one
Add a missing verb
be one
show examples
of the reasons causing problems in
relationships
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, using electronic
media
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as mobile phones makes them worse in communication.
People
Use synonyms
may have a tendency to rely on it to send messages
instead
Linking Words
of talking in person.
Secondly
Linking Words
, excessively using electronic
media
Use synonyms
could reduce communication skills. Indeed,
people
Use synonyms
do not need to use body language, which makes them find it difficult to explain their own thoughts when facing to face.
Consequence
Replace the word
Consequently
show examples
,
due to
Linking Words
fewer interactions,
people
Use synonyms
would face the risk of lacking confidence which makes them scared of public speaking.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, electronic
media
Use synonyms
are
also
Linking Words
a key feature contributing to making
relationships
Use synonyms
better. If in the past
people
Use synonyms
had to spend a month on sending a message, nowadays thanks to the growth of advanced technology, particularly electronic
media
Use synonyms
, it helps
people
Use synonyms
to receive messages immediately or even see each other through video calls.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
development of technology, many social networks were born
such
Linking Words
as Twitter and Facebook,
allowed
Wrong verb form
allowing
show examples
users to make friends from all over the world, which
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
to widen their personal
relationships
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I think electronic
media
Use synonyms
has its own benefits and downsides. It all depends on how
people
Use synonyms
use them.
Submitted by phuong.nguyenthingoc289 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to fully address the task prompt and express a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure in your essay, with appropriate use of paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise words and phrases.
grammatical range
Work on grammatical accuracy, paying attention to verb tense consistency and sentence structure.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: