IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries celebrities complain about way about the way media publicize their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #celebrities #media #lives #people #part #fame
Celebrities are known and popular figure in society and it is seen on many occasions that media disclosed their private life to attract the viewers.
However
, I believe celebrity chooses name and fame and always want to be in
limelight
Suggestion
the limelight
, but every individual has the right to protect his or her personal life.
To begin
 with, indeed, it’s true that the key aim of bigwig is to attract the attention of the public and be the centre of discussion. Popularity is directly linked to their monetary benefit and it decides their impact on society or country. It is observed in many instances that
big guns
Suggestion
the big guns
 are engaged in doing abnormal activities like posting sultry images on social media, making derogatory remarks against political leaders and revealing ill stuff from their wardrobe and they put all these efforts just to be in
public eye
Suggestion
the public eye
. Media houses are
also
 given priority to
such
 flaming news and they keep on showing to their viewers as a headline which in turn increase their rating and add more revenue to their business.
However
, every human wants to put a barrier in their special life and no one wants to make it public. Many celebrities are well known because their jobs put them in the spotlight like singer, actor, actress, sportsmen and many more. They should be allowed to relax, sit and enjoy with their loving ones. Being followed by paparazzi can be sometimes scary or deadly if heavy weight gets chased in their car. Take an example of Lady Diana, there was a speculation about her death that she died because she was stalked by media personnel and in the process of running away from them, her car met fatal accident. To conclude, every entity wants some sort of personal space and it shall be respected. Broadcasting companies must evaluate the news from all corners before making it public.
Submitted by khanzubair0119 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: