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Band 6

Some parents think it is good to give their children mobile phones, while others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#parents #children #phones
In the modern world, many people are reckoned to think that the c
ellphones
Suggestion
cell phones
are beneficial for children, while others differ with it. I would completely agree with them who deem that
this
 approach is acceptable.
This
 essay will discuss both views and explain my belief followed by relevant examples. On the one hand, those who hold the assumption that mobile phones are only ruining their child's creativity.
Firstly
, if you ever go through any education website, there is always a mobile app available.
This
 is because, through m
obile application,
Suggestion
a mobile application
the mobile application
 it is convenient even for small children to engage into i
ntresting
arousing or holding the attention
interesting
clips.
For instance
, it is often seen that children are more engaged into seeing animated characters.
Thus
, many apps are creating content
accordingly
.
In contrast
, children would miss out on an opportunity to learn something new in a very innovative way.
On the other hand
, looking
this
 matter from another point of view, it does have a lot of disadvantages as well. It is w
elll known fact
Suggestion
a well known fact
well known fact
that extensive usage of mobile phone could lead to strain in e
yes.
Suggestion
the eyes
 Of course, we must keep a safe distance from s
creen.
Suggestion
the screen
M
oreover it
Accept comma addition
Moreover, it
is supposed to increase sitting time, which could lead to many h
eath
a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease
health
issues, obesity.
For instance
, according to a recent survey conducted by h
ealth department,
Suggestion
the health department
health departments
 more than 25% of children age ranging from 8-14 years are facing obesity issues. To conclude,
although
 there are some i
sses
prepare and issue for public distribution or sale
issues
with extensive usage of mobile phones, In my opinion, it is very important for young ones to interact and utilise these modern t
echnology
Suggestion
technological
gadgets to broaden the horizon.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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