Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to work at a job you enjoy than to make a lot of money. Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.

In recent years, there has been a significant rise in the number of people advocating for the importance of job satisfaction over financial remuneration.
trend presents both advantages and disadvantages, I believe that the merits outweigh the demerits. In
essay, I will delve into the relevant aspects of
debate, providing factual justifications for my stance. Several compelling arguments support my viewpoint.
, when expectations are not met, the person may experience diminished motivation, potentially affecting their professional relationships.
stems from the fact that when employment is solely driven by financial gain, delayed or unpaid compensation can erode dedication and compromise.
, a positive and supportive work environment can foster a challenging yet rewarding experience, where financial bonuses serve as an additional incentive.
is because witnessing the tangible outcomes of one's labour often motivates them to
enhance their productivity. Research conducted by the Department of American Society corroborates
solidifying the validity of
proposition. Based on the aforementioned discussion, it is evident that the importance of job satisfaction surpasses that of financial compensation.
, the positive effects of a fulfilling work environment are undeniable and should not be overlooked.
there are strong arguments on both sides of the debate, my personal opinion is to prioritize happiness in one's professional endeavours. I wholeheartedly recommend that you carefully weigh the pros and cons of each available option to make an informed decision. In conclusion, forced retirement is reasonable in terms of safety and successful completion of assigned responsibilities.
policy ignores the benefits of retaining experienced staff,
as utilizing their knowledge and skills in complex situations that require in-depth research and ingenuity. What is required is improved communication between the old and young generations. Still, think that life can and should be enjoyed at any age.
Submitted by aracellyfontes on

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Task Achievement
Task Achievement: The response fails to directly address the prompt, which is whether it is more important to work at a job you enjoy than to make a lot of money. As such, the focus on safety and successful completion of assigned responsibilities seems tangential. To score higher, ensure that the response is directly related to the question and provide relevant examples to support the points made.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks clear logical sequencing of ideas, and some points appear disjointed. To improve, use cohesive devices appropriately and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next, establishing a clear line of argumentation throughout the essay. Employ topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to provide clear signposts to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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