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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #lifestyle #illness #treatment
It is true that some people argue for more public expenditure on measures to prevent illness by promoting a healthy lifestyle. While
this
 would certainly result in benefits to public
health
, I disagree with the idea that
this
 should be a higher priority than the
treatment
 of people who are already suffering from illness. The promotion of a healthy lifestyle to prevent illness is undoubtedly a worthy aim of any government. The sedentary routines of many people make them more prone to the risk of diabetes or heart disease
as a result
 of their inactivity. In modern life, people are so caught up in the pressures of work or study that they neglect the importance of keeping fit.
Dependence
Suggestion
Depending
Depends
 on the car exacerbates the problem of lack of exercise.
Thus
, government provision of affordable leisure and sports facilities, coupled with promotion campaigns to keep fit and healthy would certainly be a worthwhile initiative to raise the general level of public
health
.
However
, in the process of decision-making on
health
 matters, I would argue that expenditure should be allocated
first
 to the
treatment
 of people who are ill.
Firstly
, not all illnesses
are
Suggestion
is
 the result of unhealthy lifestyle choices by individuals.
For example
, respiratory disorders are affected by air pollution in cities, while poor sanitation and contaminated drinking water contribute to outbreaks of dysentery and cholera.
Secondly
, failure to subsidize medicines or to invest in hospitals would certainly lead to many deaths which could have been avoided by timely
treatment
. Hospitals,
for instance
, have many roles in providing
treatment
, not only surgery but
also
 in conducting vital research into the
treatment
 of many life- threatening conditions,
such
 as cancer or asthma. In conclusion, while promoting healthy living is important,
treatment
Suggestion
the treatment
 must have priority in
health
 service spending.
Submitted by hnamca on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • healthy lifestyle
  • prevent
  • illness
  • treatment
  • public money
  • government expenditure
  • reduce
  • burden
  • healthcare system
  • preventive measures
  • improve
  • well-being
  • invest
  • long-term benefits
  • society
  • necessary care
  • balance
  • address
  • effectively
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