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Band 6

some people believe that feeling of competition should be encouraged in children. Others say that they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion

#people #competition #children
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A lion's share of people believes that insisting young minds to have a sense of competition would help them to do better in everything they pursue, while others think that the mentality of working together is the best option to train children to be successful.
This
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 essay shall elucidate my agreement with the later statement because, in my opinion, the desire to thrive better than peers may add exorbitant pressure and stress in youngsters, whereas encouragement to
work
Use synonyms
 together as a team will bring in a plethora of
confidence
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.
Firstly
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, a side effect of competitive nature is excessive pressure on students to outperform their mates. Thereby, they will be going through unwanted stress and struggle from a very tender age.
This
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 would not just affect their overall curriculum performances, but
also
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confidence
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 as
scare
Suggestion
the scare
 of failure may restrict students from giving their 100 percent.
For instance
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, according to a report by Times Now, 70 percent of the students in the USA think that thoughts about results confine them from achieving
good
Suggestion
better
 marks than the actual preparation for the exam.
On the other hand
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, if children are motivated to exhibit an attitude of mingling together and working to do
well
Suggestion
good
 by helping one another,
then
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 I believe, it would incessantly benefit every individual in the team to perform well and thereby, gain
confidence
Use synonyms
 through
sense
Suggestion
a sense
 of self-attainment and relaxed state of mind. As a
work
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 of coordination have been proven to enhance the pleasure of task achievement, it is irrefutable that adolescents who finish their task through group
work
Use synonyms
, gain more self
confidence
Use synonyms
 than those who
work
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 alone. In conclusion,
although
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 a majority of people believe that the sense of competition will enhance the outcome in youngsters, In my perspective, children are supposed to be taught to
work
Use synonyms
 together with a mindset of cooperation, as it will benefit them in being confident and
also
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 will refrain going through conspicuous stress and pressure out of competition.
Submitted by rupesh.mayadavi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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