In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a fact that our
food
greatly affects our
health
.
This
is the reason, some people believe that
their
in or at that place
there
should be a tax applied on junk
food
by the governments.
This
essay will discuss why I strongly agree with
this
stance because it is accumulating in our population and
also
affecting the
health
of our school going children. Eating fast
food
and processed
food
is extremely unhealthy for people of every age. They contain high amounts of unsaturated fats,
calories and
Accept comma addition
calories, and
salts which in turn cause serious problems; the most common ones are cardiac arrest, stroke, hypertension, diabetes and obesity. The reason behind
this
Western influenced and sedentary lifestyle is that, fast
food
restaurants and companies providing frozen TV Dinners spend a bulk of their profit on advertising their
food
, which ultimately persuade people to buy them.
For example
, we can see that KFC, McDonald's, Pizza Hut
are
Suggestion
is
always over crowded whenever we visit,
furthermore
, eating sausages, chilled or canned
food
like mushrooms and fish is now more trending in most families,
beacause
for the reason that; on account of
because
they are ready to use. The only solution to
this
problem is that governments should induce
taxes on
Accept comma addition
taxes, on
manufacturers, sales tax could be raised in order to limit their sale with
result
Suggestion
the result
that customers could be stopped. Another danger is for the children and adolescents who are provided with unhealthy
food
in their school cafeterias. It is observed that children of the age of 6-12 and
then
youngersters
a young person of either sex
youngsters
are seen to be fond of burgers and pizzas, but the problem is that
obesity rate
Suggestion
the obesity rate
is
also
rapidly increasing in
this
age group. We can say that obesity
has now became
Suggestion
has now become
epidemic
Suggestion
an epidemic
which is spreading
fastly
with rapid movements
quickly
in various
continents especially
Accept comma addition
continents, especially
in Europe, America and after that Asia. In 1975 according to estimates,
for
instance in
Accept comma addition
instance, in
Pakistan, there were only 10% obese kids in
schools but
Accept comma addition
schools, but
now
this
amount has expanded to 40%. The research
also
revealed that there are millions of kids falling every year into
health
hazards due to their bad eating
habbits
an established custom
habits
. To conclude, our body is regulated by what we eat, unhealthy and fat rich diet depleted our
health
. To solve
this
dilemma, governments should impose
duty
Suggestion
a duty
duties
on fast
food
, processed and frozen meals. I believe it would be a positive step if it is taken by the authorities to alter our lifestyle and keeping our youth safe and healthy.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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