Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?
There is an intensive debate about 50% of those who occupy the top function in poor States are males .
However
, I totally agree with Linking Words
this
opinion that companies must take serious stages to enable Linking Words
women
to be in an upper management team. I believe those the later Use synonyms
education
and a lack of transparency behind Use synonyms
this
phenomenon. So , in Linking Words
this
article, I will discuss these two reasons in detail.
On one hand, a lot of third world countries have known schooling in the Linking Words
last
fifty years. Linking Words
For instance
, In Sudan, only a few Linking Words
women
had acknowledged teaching from 1950_1980. Use synonyms
Whereas
, recently more Linking Words
women
have been accepted to Use synonyms
education
in the Use synonyms
last
thirty years. Linking Words
Moreover
, the absence of Linking Words
education
constitutes a real obstacle to employee Use synonyms
women
in higher Use synonyms
positions
because these occupations need more qualifications for appointment with those Use synonyms
positions
. Nowadays, more and more Use synonyms
women
are receiving an Use synonyms
education
, so we can use them for those jobs in the near future.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, a lack of transparency is considered another barrier to Linking Words
women
's appointments. Use synonyms
For example
, a large number of associates employed workers for reasons far away from their abilities. Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
this
is a real problem with the female's Linking Words
positions
, if there were justices in the employment process we could find a lot of Use synonyms
women
in high Use synonyms
positions
. Use synonyms
In addition
, these days there are more methods to control a company's management, and these methods without a doubt will be contributing to Linking Words
women
's employment.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, l totally agree that there are fewer Linking Words
women
who are appointed to high Use synonyms
positions
. So , a lack of Use synonyms
education
and transparency behind Use synonyms
this
process. I accept in the near future we will see a lot of Linking Words
women
in high Use synonyms
positions
because Use synonyms
this
generation received more learning Linking Words
in
the opposite of previous generation.Change preposition
than
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on
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Task Achievement
To improve your score, make sure your essay directly addresses the question asked. This topic concerns developed countries, while your essay focuses on developing countries (e.g., Sudan). Directly relate your arguments to the context provided in the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Structure your essay more clearly by introducing each paragraph with a topic sentence that summarizes the main point of the paragraph. Then, use supporting sentences to develop this main point further.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. While you mention general situations, adding detailed examples (e.g., specific cases or statistical data) would strengthen your argumentation and make your ideas more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and aim for variation in sentence structure. Using a mix of complex and compound sentences can make your essay more engaging.