The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

#value #country #exports #categories #percentage #change #category #summarise #information #features #comparison

The bar chart below illustrates information about the profit of a state's export

Change preposition

show examples

petroleum

products

, engineered

goods

, gems and jewellery, agricultural

products

and

textiles

between the

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

2015 and 2016. The table,

graph

Correct word choice

and graph

show examples

provides information about the development of each sector, compared with the

year

2015 and 2016.

Overall

, it can be seen that

petroleum

products

showed the highest percentage

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

export earnings,

while

textiles

experienced the lowest percentage.

Furthermore

textiles

showed a huge upward trend in the changes in values.

To begin

petroleum

products

experienced a number above 60 billion in both years. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second

place was engineered

goods

, with merely 57% and went up to over 60% in the

last

year

. Gems and jewellery were 42% in 2015 and showed a downward trend to 40% in 2016. Agricultural

products

were relatively the same amount during the period, with slightly above 30%.

Finally

textiles

showed a number of merely 31% in 2006. The largest upward trend in values was in

textiles

, with 15.24%.

Furthermore

, engineered

goods

and

petroleum

goods

were relatively lower, with an increase of 8.5% and 3%.

Finally

, gems and jewellery experienced a decrease of 5.18% in the final

year

Submitted by rehanauddin9 on Sat Mar 14 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, furthermore".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words petroleum, products, goods, textiles, year with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

196 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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