IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
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Many people argue that adolescents must participate in volunteer
work
Use synonyms
 in their spare time because of advantages for themselves as well as for the community. From my point of view, uncharged
work
Use synonyms
 has its own value,
nonetheless
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,
this
Linking Words
 essay will take issue with the view mentioned since it is improper to force all students to do
this
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 kind of
work
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, I understand that unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 has great impact on both the teenagers and society. In terms of individual,
such
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 activities help the youngsters to create a sense of responsibility because they could find out that their dedication to the job is more important than the money that receive. With respect to society, voluntary campaigns could offer support to the people who are running into troubles,
in addition
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 to raising people’s awareness about sympathy.
Accordingly
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, voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 is increasingly introduced to the public, especially
to
Suggestion
in
 schools where children are taught to be thoughtful and caring.
On the other hand
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, despite the benefits unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 brings, it is implausible to make it mandatory in schools.
Firstly
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, I believe that
such
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work
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged
instead
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 of being forced since if it is compulsory in schools, some children will do it reluctantly but not seize the moral implication of
this
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.
Besides
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, not all the teenagers have the same living standard, while some obtain adequate financial support, others must subsist for themselves. For the underprivileged, it will be more practical to get a part-time job to mitigate the burdens for their family rather than joining uncharged activities. Overseas students,
for example
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, more often than not, complain that they find it stressful when require to take part in voluntary activities for the local community while they could not balance their own lives. In conclusion, teenagers ought to join unpaid activities,
however
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, I disagree that schools should include
such
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 kind of
work
Use synonyms
 as a compulsory part.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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