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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Language teacher should concentrate only on giving positive feedback when students do good work rather than on criticizing their bad work. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#language #teacher #feedback #students #work
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Being a teacher is a job with major responsibilities. Many people think positive reinforcement is the best way to teach
students
 a new language. Others believe that criticism is important to allow them to learn from their mistakes. My personal opinion lies somewhere in between. When an educator is teaching with positivity, it creates an ambience of trust. It allows them to feel as if they are able to make and correct mistakes.
For example
, I have been a tutor for the past decade. I teach
students
 from the age of 5 to undergraduate level. In my experience, the tutees respond well to favourable remarks. When my
students
 answer correctly, I rejoice with them, allowing them the feeling of enjoyment in their studies. It helps to boost their confidence and
thus
 facilitates practice.
This
 is particularly true when teaching languages, as speaking is a major part of understanding a new language, and many individuals feel self-conscious when speaking new dialects.
On the other hand
, criticising them could cause
students
 to retreat into their shells, chipping away at their conviction.
For instance
, when I have been particularly strict with my teaching, critiquing their approach,
this
 alienated them. The younger children, especially, start to lose faith in themselves.
This
 causes their speech to suffer and
thus
 impedes their progress. In my opinion, there should be a balance between both approaches. Criticism is just as valuable as positive feedback if it is delivered in the right way. Criticism allows
students
 to understand where they go wrong and how to correct themselves and good feedback allows them to feel a sense of accomplishment - both of which are great for progress.
Submitted by patelmeera on

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Task Response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively, but it would benefit from a bit more elaboration, especially in the introduction and conclusion. Provide a clear stance early on and summarize your main points at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organization of your essay is good, but try to use more cohesive devices to link your ideas together. Words such as 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'therefore' can help to create smoother transitions between points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Expand your paragraphs slightly, particularly the main body paragraphs, to provide more detailed arguments and explanations. This will also help support the main points better.
Task Achievement
Your examples are well-chosen and relevant, demonstrating personal experience which adds credibility to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.
Task Achievement
You have clearly balanced the views on positive feedback and criticism, showing a nuanced understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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