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Band 5.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
Some people prefer secured jobs, others prefer jobs that are satisfying even though
if
Correct word choice
apply
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the salary is less.
While
 I admit that jobs with security and high wages
is
Change the verb form
are
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 essential for peaceful living. In my opinion,
job
 satisfaction is crucial in one's life to achieve career growth and success.
To begin
 with, task contentment will give a sense of fulfilment that no money can guarantee, a person who likes his
work
 does not need anyone to supervise his
work
 and he will perform his task with utmost interest and concentration, which will eventually lead him to achieve more in less time. On the flip side, people who
work
 for high
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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 are forced to push themselves to struggle every day, despite
of
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high wages they often feel depressed and compromise with their conscience.
This
 leads to performance lag or working for long hours.
For example
, most of the IT employees currently choose
profession
Correct article usage
a profession
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due to
 appealing wages, but eventually burn out unable to cope
up
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apply
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with the pressures at
work
.
By
Contrast
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contrast
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, doing what keeps you motivated leads to career growth.
In other words
, there is a strong relationship between
job
 satisfaction and productivity.
For example
, Henry Miller,
who
Correct pronoun usage
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decided to leave his daily wage despite the good wage and ventured to become a writer. After enduring years of ups and
downs
Add a comma
,downs
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 he became one of the most famous and well-paid authors of the twentieth century.
To conclude
,
job
 satisfaction is more important than fixed income. If the people love their
job
, eventually, they will earn well.

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lexical resource
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grammatical range accuracy
Grammar and sentence structure are generally correct, but some sentences could be improved for clarity and coherence.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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