IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or is it the responsibility of the producer to avoid extra packaging of goods?

#consumers #products #responsibility #producer #goods
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Overpacking of the products which was always debatable has now become more controversial. The substantial influence of
this
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 trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, it is the equal responsibility of both the consumers and producers to avoid extra packaging of products.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate on my viewpoints,
along with
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 a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind
this
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 is that it increases the cost of production and results in wastage of material, manpower and energy. Another striking reason in
this
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 regard is that the use of plastic, which is non-biodegradable, creates a serious problem for the environment. Categorically, it cannot be ignored that the use of paper leads to deforestation, global warming and air pollution. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that all the materials used for packaging will eventually end up in landfills. Moving
further
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, it is pertinent to mention that the cost of a product increases which puts the burden on the consumer's pocket
,
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apply
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 and makes the product less competitive in the market.
For instance
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, McDonald's packs its burgers in a paper wrap, and
then
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 puts them into a cardboard container, and in the
last
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 hands to customers in a paper bag. It increases the cost of the product. To recapitulate,
according to
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 the arguments aforementioned above, one can conclude that producers should ethically perform their activities which are not harmful to the environment and consumers should stop purchasing
such
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 items to discourage the companies from over-packing their items.
Submitted by jagdeepsingh3699 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay follows a clear and logical structure. While you did provide an introduction and conclusion, the overall structure could be enhanced by better organizing your paragraphs and ensuring each one contains a clear main idea that is further developed.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider range of cohesive devices and organizational patterns. While your essay shows some evidence of coherence and cohesion, more sophisticated use of linking words and phrases could help improve the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more thoroughly. You should support your ideas with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. Each main point should be elaborated upon to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your response fully answers all parts of the task. While your essay addressed the topic, there could be a more comprehensive exploration of the issues. Make sure to directly address the responsibility of both consumers and producers, providing balance in your coverage of each perspective.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas further to ensure they are comprehensive and detailed. Your essay presents some relevant ideas, but they need to be expanded upon with more depth and precision to aid understanding.
task achievement
Provide specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. The example given is a good start, but including a range of examples would strengthen your argument and demonstrate a better grasp of the subject matter.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainable practices
  • Environmental footprint
  • Eco-friendly
  • Recycling programs
  • Circular economy
  • Global impact
  • Consumer awareness
  • Government regulations
  • Innovation
  • Packaging reduction
  • Waste management
  • Environmental responsibility
  • Protective packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Resource conservation
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