IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#parents #children #computers #tablets #technology #skills #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
When it comes to allowing children to play on computers, many parents give it much thought whether
this
Linking Words
 will increase children’s technical skills or not. Despite the obvious advantages
such
Linking Words
 as computer literacy and the ability to cope with state-of-the-art technology,
this
Linking Words
 approach could be harmful for kids as well. In
this
Linking Words
 essay merits and demerits will be analysed before my own perspective is given. One the one hand, computers and tablets are immensely beneficial. With their help, children who have a thirst for knowledge can get a ton of theoretical and practical skills. I can put my nephew as an example, having been gifted a computer for his birthday,
Instead
Linking Words
 of playing games, he became enthusiastic about programming and mathematics. Ultimately, these skills turned out to be incredibly useful in his adult life and helped him to become a person who makes an exceptionally good living. So,
this
Linking Words
 makes clear, computers are important for developing human capital. One the other hand, computers, tablets and mobile phones could be harmful, without proper parental control. People, children
in particular
Linking Words
, have a tendency to mess around and play video games
instead
Linking Words
 of learning new skills. There is a numberless quantity of examples when children became way too obsessed with video games and lost any interest in their studies and even life. There is no point in saying that parents have to always control the content and encourage children to broaden their horizons with computers. To conclude, I entirely support the idea, that parents should allow their children to spend time with a computer in order to gain new knowledge, and they have to supervise what exactly their children spend time on. In my opinion, the advantages which children could gain in their childhood, could be extremely helpful in their adult life, which, without any doubt, outweigh possible drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as addiction to video games.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: