Some people say that music is the good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is often argued that

music

is the inspiration to get people more close closed even they are different about cultures or ages. I completely agree with

this

opinion.

First

of all,

music

plays a role as a language and it has a certain impact

Suggestion

currently

Suggestion

current

social life. There are many different nations in all around the world, they

also

speak many different languages. And every of them uses their language to create the songs which have the beautiful lyrics and melodies by their typical cultures and language. All of

this

creating

Suggestion

creates

their

music

and

then

being disseminated widely.

For example

, in Vietnam, there are many kinds of feature

music

such

as Cheo, Quan Ho,

Cai

Suggestion

CAI

Luong. It is considered as the intangible cultural heritages which need to

preserved

Suggestion

preserve

. Through

this

kinds

Suggestion

kind

music

, foreign tourists can more understand about Vietnam as well as Vietnamese people. Thereby, we can disseminate Vietnam culture with foreign tourists. Another point to consider is that people can express their thoughts as well as their emotions through the lyrics and melodies of the song.

Music

is not only for

entertainment but

Accept comma addition

entertainment, but

also

for disseminating thoughts, ideas or even spirit. Thereby, the space of generation will not so far.

For instance

, parents can understand their children through the

music

their kids usually listen to. They may know when their child upset, when their child happy.

Then

they can confide and more easily understand each other.

In addition

many many

a quantifier that can be used with count nouns and is often preceded by 'as' or 'too' or 'so' or 'that'; amounting to a large but indefinite number

many

years ago, in the wars, the composers encouraged the spirit of their soldiers by creating the songs with the eloquent melodies and close lyrics. Up to now, every time we listen to

this

type, we cannot help shivering because the songs make us remember their glorious victories. In conclusion, once

again I

Accept comma addition

again, I

want to emphasize I totally agree that

music

is one of the most important factor to promote people get closer together.

Submitted by Thảo Andy on Tue Jul 07 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is the good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life?

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