IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #sport #schools #waste #time #resources #whilst #part #education
It is undeniable that physical activities play an important role in overall development of people especially in children. Some people believe that sports should put mandatory in institute while others think that it should be entirely optional for all students.
This
 essay will be discussing both sides and will offer personal positions On the one hand, athletics seem to be vital and have its own benefits of the academy.
First
 and foremost, it is incontrovertible that “healthy minds dwells in a healthy body,
likewise
, physical fitness promotes better mental ability and works as a stress buster for adolescents. Allied to it is the fact that almost people do daily physical exercises are on the verge of living healthy and balance.
Besides
, participating in a game with a strong aptitude and passion can make people choose sports as a profession and bring the name and glory to the country.
In addition
, team sports tend to develop many qualities in children,
such
 as team spirit, leadership socializing, as well as decision making. As a consequence, fun not only brings physical strength but
also
 provides essential social skills that help people grow up like many other sorts of subjects
On the other hand
, sports at the institute have its own drawbacks. Making sports compulsory will mount up pressure and discomfort on students' mind if they are not willing to participate in it.
In addition
, Attending sports that have the potential of injuries to external organs, supervision and any negligence can lead to an unexpected disaster.According to a recent study,
although
 there are PE teachers, the sports at the university have its certain degree of difficulty and possibility of injury.
Last
 but not least, Students who have no willing to attend in sports, they may feel pastime is what keeps them from distracting their learning during class hours In the final analysis each aspect has its own values, while pastime makes people promote healthy lifestyle and a clear mind, they
also
 can pull the learning results down and make them uncomfortable.
Submitted by Hoàng Thắng on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical fitness
  • Holistic development
  • Cognitive function
  • Teamwork
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Extracurricular
  • Academic achievement
  • Resource allocation
  • Curriculum
  • Inequality in opportunities
  • Life skills
  • Well-rounded education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: