IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people consider prices as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree

#people #prices #product #cell #phone #service #eg #treatment
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Nowadays the amount of
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that the price of a product or service is the most critical to consider when they buy them,
this
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 say disagree with
this
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 statement because it may lead to bad health and the
quality
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 of products. One of the most considerable factors when
people
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 buy products is
quality
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,
moreover
Linking Words
, there are several items in our board the cheapest ones and the high-
quality
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 expensive ones that continue with you for a long time and give you the best experience you could ever have only if you invested your money on them, on other hand some fewer price products may not serve that purpose that he voted for,
for instance
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, Apple phones iPhone it was made to serve a customer in all different methods
also
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 the
quality
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 that makes it long time stable.
On the other hand
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, buying low-price services like medical treatment may lead to dying in the worst-case scenario,
furthermore
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, health services are so important to your body and if
people
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 want to treat themselves and cheap places that could make them deal with unprofessional doctors and
subsequently
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 be sicker than before, a recent study found that more than half
people
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 who went to illegal cheap doctors to treat them they get sicker and die because of
this
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. in conclusion, considering price as the most important thing is awful not just for your health but
also
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 for
quality
Use synonyms
 and long-invested purposes like buying a phone or other service, and that`s why I disagree with
this
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 statement.
Submitted by zakiahanafy1 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly introduce your main arguments in the introduction. This will help the reader understand what to expect in the essay.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your points with more examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Some sentences are either too long or lack clarity, which can confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear topic sentence and sticks to a single main idea for better cohesion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear stance on the issue, which is a good start.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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