Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #lifestyle #schools #parents

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In modern society, a large number of kids become unhealthier than the past.

Although

Linking Words

some people believe that tackling

this

Linking Words

issue is the responsibility of both teachers and parents, I think that the government

also

Linking Words

has an important role in helping children having a healthy habit.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, parents have the major duty of forming their offspring’s

lifestyle

Use synonyms

. Because of the hectic schedule of many families, children tend to

spending

Suggestion

spend

time

Use synonyms

planting in front of television and consuming heavily commercially-prepared

food

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, parents should become a role model for their kids by making healthier

food

Use synonyms

choices and taking daily exercise.

For instance

Linking Words

, parents should spend more

time

Use synonyms

preparing nutritious meals at home in order to limit the excessive consumption of fast

food

Use synonyms

, chips and snack.

Besides

Linking Words

, parents should encourage their kids to play sports

instead

Linking Words

of screen-

time

Use synonyms

activities by participating together.

In addition

Linking Words

, educational institutes are the

second

Linking Words

influential community in children’s unhealthy habits because they often spend a considerable

time

Use synonyms

there. Schools should pay more attention to their healthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

by organising extra-curricular activities and teamwork activities on break

time

Use synonyms

In particular

Linking Words

, children may be stimulated to do more exercise if schools hold regular sports competition, which not only build a good habit but

also

Linking Words

help children to stay healthy.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, schools should educate pupils the importance of healthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

and consequence of bad habits on their health by attractive lessons.

This

Linking Words

method can help them make the right habit choice.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, problems about children’s

lifestyle

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

stem from government. Politicians should have a significant taxing of fast

food

Use synonyms

to reduce the adverse impact on

health

Suggestion

the health

of the future generations. If

this

Linking Words

kind of

food

Use synonyms

is taxed and become expensive, parents will seek out healthier options.

Moreover

Linking Words

, workshops about the way to educate a child more effectively should be held to raise the knowledge of parents. In conclusion, I believe that the guidance of both families and studying institutes can address effectively the unhealthy way of

children’s

Suggestion

children

living.

However

Linking Words

, the government

Linking Words

also have

Suggestion

also has

the crucial effect on the development of kids.

Submitted by Thuy Phung on Thu Jul 23 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

347 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

unhealthy lifestyle
growing concern
crucial role
addressing this issue
promote healthy habits
educational programs
physical activities
establish healthy routines
nutritious meals
collaboration

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Today, some young people say that their mobile phones are the most important thing they own. Do you think that the popularity of mobile phones is a good or bad thing?
Presently, technology advances way quicker than a majority of humanity can keep up with , thus, significantly increasing the technological incorporation between humans and their cell phones. In the contemporary world, it is important to acknowledge that mobile phones have become an indispensable part of our daily lives, especially for the younger generation. It is my contention that this trend is a multifaceted phenomenon encompassing both positive and negative implications for juveniles.
4.5
band
A museum near your house is looking for people to do part-time vountary/unpaid work. you would like to do some voulntary work at the museum. write a letter to the museum director to apply for voluntary work in letter. explain why you want to do voluntary work at museum. describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful give details of when you would be available for work.
I hope this letter find you well . I am writing this letter to express my interest in working as part-time in museum in next month as I seen your advertisement in my phone last day.
8.5
band
You are planning a surprise party. Write a letter to a friend to invite them to the party. In your letter: - Explain the reason for the party. - Give details about the time and venue. - Ask them to keep it a secret.
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing to invite you to a surprise party that is going to be organized for my parents.
4.5
band
•Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?
There is no denying the fact the living in urban areas become less enjoyable last days. This essay will discuss two reason for less pleasant from increasing population in cities two environment pollution. To begin with, there are many reason are to getting difficult for individuals to enjoy their live in cities,
<4
band
some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree?
It is often argued whether students should take a year off after graduating schools.

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today, some young people say that their mobile phones are the most important thing they own. Do you think that the popularity of mobile phones is a good or bad thing?

You are planning a surprise party. Write a letter to a friend to invite them to the party. In your letter: - Explain the reason for the party. - Give details about the time and venue. - Ask them to keep it a secret.

•Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree?