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Writing Samples
Band 5

Teenagers in some nations work at jobs while they are still in school. Do you think it is a good idea for students to have jobs ? Use specific examples and reasons to explain your answer

#teenagers #nations #work #jobs #school #idea #students
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Nowdays
Suggestion
Nowadays
,
Accept space
,
 some students
work
Use synonyms
 along with studies. In some countries
,
Accept space
,
its
it is
it's
 common practice to start working from an early
age
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
this
Linking Words
 tendency may lead to some consequences to their health
,
Accept space
,
 some start working from
young
Suggestion
a young age
age
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost
,
Accept space
,
 being occupied with
work
Use synonyms
 is
good uage
Suggestion
a good use
good use
good usage
good wages
good age
 of extra
time
Use synonyms
 for students.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it
teach
Suggestion
teaches
 them
taking
Suggestion
to take
 more responsibility
,
Accept space
,
 managing finances and
time
Use synonyms
 management.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 an additional source of income reduces the burden the monetary burden
from
Suggestion
of
 their family.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 jobs open new doors to connect and network with new people
.
Accept space
.
Also
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 it
help
Suggestion
helps
learn youngsters
Suggestion
youngsters learn
 the value of money from
young
Suggestion
a young age
age
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
 To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
 when they
work
Use synonyms
 hard to
purcahse
obtain by purchase; acquire by means of a financial transaction
purchase
 something
,
Accept space
,
 they plan and budget it before hand
.
Accept space
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 working while studying has its de-merits too
.
Accept space
.
 To commence with
,
Accept space
,
 it can distract students from their studies.
For example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 some teenagers leave their studies in order to earn more money early which can have adverse effects later in life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 an added pressure of handling both study and
work
Use synonyms
 at
same
Suggestion
the same time
time
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
 can lead to various mental and physical health issues from an early
age
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 working students have less or no
time
Use synonyms
 for recreational activities. To sum up
,
Accept space
,
 working along with studies
certainly help
Suggestion
certainly helps
has certainly helped
 teenagers to build a foundation for life
.
Accept space
.
 At the same
time
Use synonyms
its
it is
it's
 important for children to enjoy and experience their youth
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by Harneet on

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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