IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Teenagers in some nations work at jobs while they are still in school. Do you think it is a good idea for students to have jobs ? Use specific examples and reasons to explain your answer

#teenagers #nations #work #jobs #school #idea #students
Nowdays
Suggestion
Nowadays
,
Accept space
,
 some students
work
 along with studies. In some countries
,
Accept space
,
its
it is
it's
 common practice to start working from an early
age
.
Accept space
.
Although
,
Accept space
,
this
 tendency may lead to some consequences to their health
,
Accept space
,
 some start working from
young
Suggestion
a young age
age
.
First
 and foremost
,
Accept space
,
 being occupied with
work
 is
good uage
Suggestion
a good use
good use
good usage
good wages
good age
 of extra
time
 for students.
Secondly
, it
teach
Suggestion
teaches
 them
taking
Suggestion
to take
 more responsibility
,
Accept space
,
 managing finances and
time
 management.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
 an additional source of income reduces the burden the monetary burden
from
Suggestion
of
 their family.
In addition
 to
this
,
Accept space
,
 jobs open new doors to connect and network with new people
.
Accept space
.
Also
,
Accept space
,
 it
help
Suggestion
helps
learn youngsters
Suggestion
youngsters learn
 the value of money from
young
Suggestion
a young age
age
.
Accept space
.
 To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
 when they
work
 hard to
purcahse
obtain by purchase; acquire by means of a financial transaction
purchase
 something
,
Accept space
,
 they plan and budget it before hand
.
Accept space
.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
 working while studying has its de-merits too
.
Accept space
.
 To commence with
,
Accept space
,
 it can distract students from their studies.
For example
,
Accept space
,
 some teenagers leave their studies in order to earn more money early which can have adverse effects later in life.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
 an added pressure of handling both study and
work
 at
same
Suggestion
the same time
time
,
Accept space
,
 can lead to various mental and physical health issues from an early
age
.
Also
,
Accept space
,
 working students have less or no
time
 for recreational activities. To sum up
,
Accept space
,
 working along with studies
certainly help
Suggestion
certainly helps
has certainly helped
 teenagers to build a foundation for life
.
Accept space
.
 At the same
time
its
it is
it's
 important for children to enjoy and experience their youth
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by Harneet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: