IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in rural areas. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #cities #places #areas
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most people opine to live in cities and
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 the best place to live. But other believes to live
at
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 countryside areas. In my opinion, both
opitions
Correct your spelling
options
 have
its
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 own advantages and disadvantages. But I think, advantages are more outweigh of the disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
of
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
,f there are many reasons affected to be living in the cities and rural areas.
For example
Linking Words
, work opportunities,
Eduacation
Correct your spelling
Education
 cost, cost of living,
health
Use synonyms
 hazards and adaptability. Comparatively, cities having more work opportunities to work in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
multiple
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of businesses, either on a small or a large scale.
Education
Add an article
The education
show examples
 system has lots of variations, in regards
of
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 the cost and standard. Cities education systems are more advanced and apprehensive, rather than countryside living education system has less in demand.
However
Linking Words
, to live in rural areas is
l
Add an article
a
show examples
ittle
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
cheaper than the cities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living in cities is more expensive. People need enough earning sources to survive in cities.Those all mentioned factors above made the cities more crowded and polluted. Due to
this
Linking Words
 crowed causes of
health
Use synonyms
 hazards like a lot of
car
Change to a plural noun
cars
show examples
 causes to pollution and pollution causes to
health
Use synonyms
 like eye strains, other viruses infection and
beathing
Correct your spelling
breathing
beating
 trouble etc.
Also
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
rural areas
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
 limited
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
 of works, due to
this
Linking Words
 concern, many educated people are leaving
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 home town and moving to cities, and that's the thing makes the cities more crowded. But
instead
Linking Words
 of less population
contryside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 have less pollution and for the
health
Use synonyms
 prospect, it is a great option to live. In conclusion, Cities are
Add an article
a
the
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better option to live with more opportunities to live. But I
also
Linking Words
 believe that the government should approach more progress in some of the fields in rural areas, so
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
people can get some more opportunities to continue their career in home towns.
Submitted by Neha Saini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: