There are more new towns being built nowadays ,it is more important to include public park and sports facilities than shopping centres for individual spend their free time.

#towns #park #sports #facilities #centres #time

There is an increased number of town build in a recent there so authorities ought to add park and sports amenities

instead

of shopping malls in towns.

This

essay tends to partially agree with the given statement and essay shall support an the argument in the upcoming paragraphs. There are many reasons why include parks and sports facilities in towns. One of the considerable reasons is that there will be a suitable space and better equipment for exercise for people.

Therefore

, denizens can be played games and doing meditation in parks and sports centre.

As a result

, it leads to people of society will more likely physically as well as mentally fit. Another reason is socializing with neighbours. A good illustration

that is

people can contact with each other when they are playing sports.

Hence

, it helps to strong bonding between community members.

However

, there are numerous reasons for the importance of shopping malls in towns. One approach is shopping is very convenient for everyone. As everything is available in shopping malls

such

as branded clothes, kitchen accessories, mobiles so it helps to no need to spend money on transport because everything is available in one place. Another approach is employment. If shopping centre opens in towns, people will find jobs in

this

field. It would be beneficial for local people who can find work in security guard, maintenance, retail of the mall.

Hence

, they can be earned a handsome income and fulfilled their needs. In conclusion,

although

parks and sports facilities serve as places for exercise and social activities for city dwellers, I believe shipping centres are equally important since they provide job opportunity and convenience for residents.

Submitted by gurwindersinghguraya95 on Wed Oct 21 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

279 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are more new towns being built nowadays ,it is more important to include public park and sports facilities than shopping centres for individual spend their free time.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, the crime level is increasing, and crimes are becoming more violent. What is the reason and what can be done about it?

Some people think that distance learning programs can never be as good as traditional, face-to-face education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your manager has asked you to arrange a party for a colleague leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter  suggest a suitable date and time for the party  recommend a venue  propose the food and entertainment options that should be available.

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?