IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
Over the
last
 few years, some people have argued that certain criminals should do unpaid
community
 services rather than being put in jails. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
 notion and in
this
 essay
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,
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I will support my view with valid arguments and examples.
To begin
 with, the main reason why I consider being jailed is not suitable for all culprits is that the sentence should depend on the type of
the
Remove the article
apply
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crime.
For example
, petty criminal activities
such
 as breaking traffic rules or reckless driving are not as serious as premeditated murder or kidnapping.
Consequently
, lawbreakers who commit minor offences should be made to do unpaid
community
 services which will benefit the whole society.
In contrast
, putting those who commit heinous crimes behind bars is crucial for the safety of other citizens.
Furthermore
, I believe that engaging in unpaid
community
 work, for those who commit mild misdeeds, has fruitful impacts on them.
This
 is because they will be rehabilitated and learn how to contribute to their society.
Therefore
, it has been proven that criminals who are made to do
community
 work rarely recommit any crimes. Seldom does
this
 occur if they are put in jails
.
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?
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Additionally
, during participating in unpaid
community
 services, they will have the opportunity to learn new skills which may help them earn their living
instead
 of recommitting offences. In conclusion, according to the seriousness of the crime, I strongly believe that certain offenders should do unpaid
community
 work
instead
 of being jailed. Indeed,
this
 will have immense positive impacts on them and their behaviour.
Submitted by dentranda93 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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