IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more students at university today are not choosing to study science. Why is this happening? What are the effects of it?

Recent years have witnessed an increasing number of
students
Use synonyms
 opting for other subjects rather than
science
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will shed light on the underlying reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon before highlighting several negative consequences of
this
Linking Words
 trend. The tendency of
students
Use synonyms
 towards not choosing to study
science
Use synonyms
 can be attributed to two main reasons. One significant reason revolves around the demanding nature of the curriculum
coupled with
Linking Words
 prohibitive tuition fees. Not only does it require
students
Use synonyms
 to have a thorough understanding of complex concepts but
also
Linking Words
 charges higher tuition fees compared to other subjects owing to the necessity for specialised technological equipment involved.
This
Linking Words
 may deter prospective
students
Use synonyms
 from applying if they do not have additional financial support or scholarships.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the perception of limited applicability. In
this
Linking Words
 digital age, subjects like marketing or business administration are perceived as broader career opportunities across various
industries
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, studying
science
Use synonyms
 focuses on the study of theoretical knowledge and research in the laboratory, which makes one only able to work in
science
Use synonyms
-related
industries
Use synonyms
. The dwindling interest among
students
Use synonyms
 in studying
science
Use synonyms
 can give rise to far-reaching repercussions. Chief among these is the loss of innovations, making
industries
Use synonyms
 reliant on scientific advancements may
struggle
Wrong verb form
struggling
show examples
 to find qualified professionals.
This
Linking Words
 shortage could result in lower innovation and technological advancement, hindering progress in key areas
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare and environmental protection.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the diminishing interest in
science
Use synonyms
 may exacerbate the existing lack of diversity in the job market. Since people are inclined to steer away from
science
Use synonyms
, the range of available professions would shrink and potentially limit career options for future generations
as a consequence
Linking Words
. In conclusion, the issue of more
students
Use synonyms
 opting out of
science
Use synonyms
 is driven by its demanding learning journey, tuition fees and applicability.
This
Linking Words
 issue will contribute to the lack of innovations for certain
industries
Use synonyms
 and reduce the diversity in the job market.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt effectively, explaining why students opt out of science and detailing the effects clearly. A more diverse range of specific examples could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, you could use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next would enhance the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is clear and logically structured, refining the transition between points and ensuring each paragraph maintains a single clear focus would elevate your writing.
task achievement
Consider adding more depth to your supporting points to thoroughly substantiate your arguments. Including more detailed examples could make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for your essay, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay outlines several reasons for the trend and discusses potential repercussions comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a good logical structure with well-defined paragraphs focusing on distinct points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: