IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Do you agree or disagree the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#technology #children #support
The progress of
technology
 is, without doubt, unavoidable nowadays. Thanks to it, life has been made easier.
However
, some people argue
technology
 has eroded the creativity of the
children
. Others, including myself
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
believe
that is
 wrong.
First
 of all, we can express our ideas and share our feelings more readily and easily available thanks
Add the preposition
to
show examples
technology
. Our
children
 can assemble ideas from all around the world and they may use these ideas to build more strong characters.
For example
, I had a nephew who was using a lot of social networking websites and meeting people from a lot of countries. He was learning about other cultures and traditions and making new friends. Now he invented a new phone
technology
 with the idea he got when he was chatting with his Japanese friends!
Moreover
, inventions and science grow gradually and cumulatively over the years, with an effort put not by scientists, but
also
 by a lot of hidden heroes who put effort to make the world a better place. By the discovery of the internet, it is way easier to look at what other people have done centuries ago and try to come up with new projects! I assume 2 millenniums ago, it was not easy to search what other civilizations have done before.
Furthermore
, nowadays
children
 can learn lots of things about science and art history, so they can start where the other scientists left. That’s a great opportunity! To sum up, it is important that we know our
children
 have the availability and capability to build something new and breath-taking with all these technologic developments. They have lots of food for thoughts! We, as adults, should improve their imagination and trust them to make the world a better place!
Submitted by lotuslunaris on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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