IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You are in the local rugby team. You recently heard that a player in your team is in the hospital. Write a letter to your teammate. In your letter, say how you feel about the news ask about the treatment in the hospital suggest some ways of cheering him/her up

Hey Dan! I hope that you're feeling better than
last
Linking Words
 week! The news of your injury has absolutely devastated both me and the team. The team is definitely not the same without you playing with us, so we are all looking forward to seeing you again in our daily practices. I have always heard about the astounding recovery treatments at Saint Smith Hospital and how most professional athletes in our town choose it
because of
Change preposition
for
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 the same reason. I was wondering whether you've had the same experience
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I'm waiting for you to tell me all about it. Some of the guys and I were planning on cheering you up somehow, so we were thinking of visiting you tomorrow or maybe sending you a gift basket, so please tell me how you would feel about us visiting you
this
Linking Words
 soon. I hope that you get better soon!
sincerely
Fix capitalization
Sincerely
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 yours. Amin.

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structure
Make one main idea in each paragraph and start a new paragraph for a new idea.
vocabulary
Use simple words and short lines. Avoid hard words like 'astounding' so the tone stays clear.
content
Ask clear questions and give a simple plan to visit or help to cheer up.
tone
Warm and kind tone that fits a team letter.
content
The letter shows care for a teammate and a wish to help.
content
Clear aim to ask about treatment and plan a visit.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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