IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
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It is often seen by many authorities around the globe that
chief
Correct article usage
the chief
show examples
 objective is considered as economic development.
However
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, it is argued by some sections of the society that there are other forms of progress
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 a country can achieve. I personally believe that reforms to the
education
Use synonyms
 system and advancements
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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medical facilities are other forms of progress
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 can contribute to the success of the
nation
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, governments consider economic movements as the primary criteria.
This
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 is because of the fact that when a
nation
Use synonyms
 is economically forward there could be many establishments flowing in which could lead to various employment opportunities irrespective of the skill set that an individual
possess
Change the verb form
possesses
show examples
. To illustrate, most developing nations
such
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 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third
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 world countries gradually started to improve on the economies leading to a massive surge in the employment rates according to reports surveyed by some of the experts.
Hence
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, many nations around the globe consider
economic
Add an article
the economic
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 activity as their primary goal.
On the contrary
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,
although
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 economic progress is considered vital for the nations, there are important sectors
such
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 as
education
Use synonyms
 and medical which equally measure the growth. By providing exceptional
education
Use synonyms
 in countries
such
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 as Germany, there are always skilled people available performing various activities driving the
nation
Use synonyms
 ahead of others.
Similarly
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,
emphasis
Add an article
the emphasis
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of
Change preposition
on
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 medical facilities is
also
Linking Words
 considered vital as the
nation
Use synonyms
 would be recognized throughout the globe and people flock to get their problems solved.
Therefore
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, apart from economic
progression
Add a comma
,progression
show examples
 there are other sectors
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are equally significant for a territory. To conclude, despite economic advancements being vital for the country’s development there are other sectors where
emphasis
Add an article
the emphasis
show examples
 has to be placed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fields
such
Linking Words
 as
education
Use synonyms
 and medicine for
sustainable
Correct article usage
the sustainable
show examples
 growth of the
nation
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by karthikaare27 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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