A lot of people think people are being over dependent on phones and the internet? Do you agree?

With the advancement in technology,

people

are becoming more dependent on their smartphones and internet for a lot of activities, which once seemed impossible at the click of a button. I agree that

people

are being over-dependent on phones and the internet. Even though the arrival of smart mobiles and other networking technologies have immensely benefited mankind in providing certain services instantly, it comes at a tremendous price. Because of the increasing dependence on their mobile screens for various reasons,

people

get glued to their devices much more than ever.

For example

, it is widely known that

people

interaction has drastically gone down in recent years, in most parts of the world. Not only do mobile phones increase exposure to radiation, but

also

results in various life-threatening diseases. One clear example is the growth of cancer cells in the human body,

as a result

of increased radiation levels that the body is exposed to.

Additionally

, since the arrival of the internet,

people

increasingly rely on them to perform various transactions from the comfort of their home, which in its absence would have required them to be present physically at particular offices and banks.

Thus

, because of decreased physical motion, we lead an inactive lifestyle.

For instance

, it is an accepted fact that

people

worldwide prefer to do their banking transactions online, rather than visiting the bank in person, which takes a lot more time and effort.

Furthermore

people

get easily distracted by various notifications on their mobiles that can decrease their productivity and efficiency levels at work.

Hence

, many international companies prohibit their employees to take phones into the office, because for the same reason. In conclusion, even though the arrival of modern technological devices has benefited

people

tremendously, the negatives far outweigh the positives. And as it helps the public function better, it is going to stay for a while in

this

fast-paced life, it can

also

expose us to diseases due to unhealthy and easy-going lifestyle.

Submitted by abdarwish.official on Thu Mar 11 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

330 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A lot of people think people are being over dependent on phones and the internet? Do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behaviour both on and off the field, can have negative influences. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not enough physical exercise. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures are there to this problem?

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.