Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds

Due to

deforestation, there has been an immense decrease in the number of species of wild creatures and birds. Many people have their opinion that wild

animals

are given a lot of attention,

on the other hand

, some believe we need to protect them and help them with various new resources. In my opinion, I disagree with

the

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

fact and believe we should give much more attention and better solutions should be provided for their survival. With time, there are multiple living species that are going extinct. For development reasons, we have cut down the forests and killed many

animals

. Avoiding the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

we are harming a

lot

Add the preposition

lot of

show examples

wildlife

and ruining their homes. Henceforth, we need to save them and

this

can only be achieved by providing

those beast

Change the determiner

that beast

those beasts

show examples

with better resources and protection.

For instance

due to

deforestation and no proper protection provided to tigers in ,

Correct article usage

the Sundarbans

show examples

Sundarbans

Add a comma

Sundarbans,

show examples

there are only 100 tigers left now. There can be multiple ways we can protect

wildlife

Firstly

, the government can make strict laws for development which will result in not cutting down the forests and making homes for humans.

Secondly

, people can partner with multiple organizations

such

as PETA.

This

partnership will help them with proper guidance on what would be the best approaches to protect the

wildlife

and how can one contribute.

Thirdly

, there could be strict penalties

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can

fine

Verb problem

impose

show examples

on hunting and illegal killing of

wildlife

animals

Hence

, I believe we need to invest more time and resources in saving the

animals

and birds as they will vanish away soon and our future generations will only see them in photographs. People can treat it as a social responsibility and take useful measures towards it.

Submitted by sehgalricha54 on Tue Jun 08 2021

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your main points are effectively connected throughout the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to further support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecological balance
species extinction
wildlife conservation
sustainable development
ecosystem services
habitat destruction
endangered species
conservation efforts
natural heritage
human encroachment
poaching
genetic diversity
climate change
environmental stewardship
protection measures
wildlife sanctuary
biological significance
conservation biology
environmental advocacy

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Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

IN TODAY'S WORLD MANY PEOPLE OWN A SMARTPHONE . DO YOU THINK THE ADVANTAGES OF OWNING A SMARTPHONE OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES

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Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

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