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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communicate had has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#people #computers #phones #effect #people’s #skills
It has suggested been that more and more young
people
 communicate by electric products like mobile
phones
 and computers in recent years, most
people
 think that it's harmful to the development abilities of reading and writing. In my opinion, it's undoubted that will have disadvantage for our
such
 skills.
Firstly
, it's true that rational using
phones
 and computers are convenient and high effective,
however
, most young
people
 can hardly self-controlled so that will cause overuse of electric products. Overuse will distract
Correct article usage
the attentions
show examples
attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
show examples
 of young
people
 during reading
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a certain extent.
For example
, notifications of various apps pop
upon
Correct your spelling
up on
show examples
 our
phones
 at any moment, it has strong appeal for us so that our potential aware enter
this
 app. Naturally, we couldn't read books using electric devices for several hours, our eyes will feel a little ache, and
then
 it
enable
Change the verb form
enables
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 to focus on
screen
Add an article
the screen
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
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high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 degree.
Secondly
, computers and mobile
phones
 are more likely to hinder the frequency of handwriting, as well as the formal grammatical structures in writing. In our daily life, we used to send messages as simple as fast
possilble
Correct your spelling
possible
 by
phones
.
For example
, it probably that 2 or 3 words can represent the meaning of a complete sentence, because
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 always pursue effectiveness and shortcut.
Moreover
, writing has to a person has a strong ability of linguistic logic.
Thus
, communication use
phones
 compared to normal writing look
simliar
Correct your spelling
similar
, actually, it has significant differences. In conclusion,
although
 electric devices could boost
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 development of society,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 may hinder our formal reading and writing skills.
Submitted by richard52138 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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