IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communicate had has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#people #computers #phones #effect #people’s #skills
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It has suggested been that more and more young
people
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 communicate by electric products like mobile
phones
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 and computers in recent years, most
people
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 think that it's harmful to the development abilities of reading and writing. In my opinion, it's undoubted that will have disadvantage for our
such
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 skills.
Firstly
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, it's true that rational using
phones
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 and computers are convenient and high effective,
however
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, most young
people
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 can hardly self-controlled so that will cause overuse of electric products. Overuse will distract
Correct article usage
the attentions
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attentions
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attention
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 of young
people
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 during reading
in
Change preposition
to
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 a certain extent.
For example
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, notifications of various apps pop
upon
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up on
show examples
 our
phones
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 at any moment, it has strong appeal for us so that our potential aware enter
this
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 app. Naturally, we couldn't read books using electric devices for several hours, our eyes will feel a little ache, and
then
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 it
enable
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enables
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 to focus on
screen
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the screen
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in
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to
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high
Add an article
a high
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 degree.
Secondly
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, computers and mobile
phones
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 are more likely to hinder the frequency of handwriting, as well as the formal grammatical structures in writing. In our daily life, we used to send messages as simple as fast
possilble
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possible
 by
phones
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.
For example
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, it probably that 2 or 3 words can represent the meaning of a complete sentence, because
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 always pursue effectiveness and shortcut.
Moreover
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, writing has to a person has a strong ability of linguistic logic.
Thus
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, communication use
phones
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 compared to normal writing look
simliar
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similar
, actually, it has significant differences. In conclusion,
although
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 electric devices could boost
current
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the current
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 development of society,
it
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they
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 may hinder our formal reading and writing skills.
Submitted by richard52138 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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