IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowdays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#nowdays #people #media #touch #news
In our modern society social
media
, online news jumped into our entire life and everyone spend lots of their
time
 surfing and chatting on the internet. Despite a few inevitable drawbacks, I believe that social
media
 have largely been advantages. To start with, there are multifarious merits of social websites.
Firstly
, distance doesn't matter for social networks.
This
 means that families and friends can communicate by chatting and making video calls with each other anywhere in the world.
Moreover
, the person can find new friends through social networks and discover different cultures, learn new languages and slang.
Secondly
, social networks gave birth to many famous talented
people
 because you should not spend money to show the world your abilities.
Consequently
,
this
 motivates the youngsters to work hard by themself. Turning towards drawbacks, there are some demerits. As I mentioned at the beginning, social
media
 can be very
time
-consuming and not all
people
 use
this
time
 profitably.
For instance
, a lot of
people
 use them for entertainment, follow the personal life of their idols, read worthless news and much other useless activities. Whereas, only a tiny per cent of them use it for self-study and education.
Moreover
, with social
media
 advent cases of fraud have become more frequent, because hide after receiving money from the victim online is easier than in real life. In conclusion, it is clear that social
media
 made
people
 more communicable and closer.
Moreover
, they find many varieties of hobbies and self-studying became convenient.
In contrast
,
people
 should be able to manage their
time
 as well as activities in social
media
 wiser. At the same
time
, the government have to take control out of cheating
Submitted by Syfer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • mobilizing public opinion
  • sociopolitical issues
  • immediacy
  • dissemination
  • misinformation
  • cyberbullying
  • privacy invasion
  • commercialization
  • algorithms
  • excessive screen time
  • social cohesion
  • traditional media outlets
What to do next:
Look at other essays: