One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Nowadays,
health
is one of the vital factors in a human’s life. Individuals want their own bodies to be good as well as medical care is a major alternative for every
people
. There are both positive and negative sides, but I personally believe that it has more benefits than their drawbacks. On the one hand, medical care can divide into many ways of each personal symptom, so it is both beneficial and necessary requirements.
Firstly
, it helps
people
to be more life expectancy with doctor’s method.
Secondly
, individuals can always check their
health
including disease by medical development. The
last
reason is
people
decrease their risks for any
health
problem.
For instance
, if the
people
Add a verb
arepeople
werepeople
show examples
always healthy by their checking and expert’s
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
, they will reduce
health
risk as well.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the contrast side, it has some bad points of its.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
everyone wants to be well-
health
it does not mean all of them can afford the value of treatment because it is costly for someone so, it is unable for every community. Another reason is the place as the hospital where patients can be cured is not able for every area.
For example
, it does not have any
health
station in some country area so,
people
in
this
area have to take transportation to the hospital for their remedy, it is hard for anyone who does not have any chance. In conclusion, it obviously has more benefits than drawbacks. These drawbacks can be helped by the government or organization.
Therefore
, the development of
health
care is a beneficial one that ought to be supported all the time.
Submitted by pinploy007 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consequences
  • improved medical care
  • life expectancy
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • healthcare
  • quality of life
  • population
  • economic burden
  • elderly
  • dependency
  • technology
  • ethical concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: