One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy

Nowadays,

health

is one of the vital factors in a human’s life. Individuals want their own bodies to be good as well as medical care is a major alternative for every

people

. There are both positive and negative sides, but I personally believe that it has more benefits than their drawbacks. On the one hand, medical care can divide into many ways of each personal symptom, so it is both beneficial and necessary requirements.

Firstly

, it helps

people

to be more life expectancy with doctor’s method.

Secondly

, individuals can always check their

health

including disease by medical development. The

last

reason is

people

decrease their risks for any

health

problem.

For instance

, if the

people

Add a verb

arepeople

werepeople

show examples

always healthy by their checking and expert’s

Correct your spelling

advice

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

, they will reduce

health

risk as well.

Change preposition

show examples

the contrast side, it has some bad points of its.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

everyone wants to be well-

health

it does not mean all of them can afford the value of treatment because it is costly for someone so, it is unable for every community. Another reason is the place as the hospital where patients can be cured is not able for every area.

For example

, it does not have any

health

station in some country area so,

people

this

area have to take transportation to the hospital for their remedy, it is hard for anyone who does not have any chance. In conclusion, it obviously has more benefits than drawbacks. These drawbacks can be helped by the government or organization.

Therefore

, the development of

health

care is a beneficial one that ought to be supported all the time.

Submitted by pinploy007 on Tue Aug 17 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consequences
improved medical care
life expectancy
advantages
disadvantages
healthcare
quality of life
population
economic burden
elderly
dependency
technology
ethical concerns

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer togethert while others that people and communities are bbecome more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

As a result of global warming, many countries are turning to nuclear power instead of burning fossil fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?