IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Governments should focus on building transportation infrastructure for bicycles rather than motor vehicles. To what extent do you agree?

#governments #focus #transportation #infrastructure #bicycles #motor #vehicles
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Bicycling has been in service in human society for more than two centuries;
however
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, with the arrival of modern transportation,
bikes
Use synonyms
 tend to be outdated civil products.
Therefore
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, in my view, I object to constructing more
roads
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 suitable for cycling around cities especially cosmopolitan areas in terms of the demand of people of all ages. Undeniably, cycling as a travelling tool is unsafe for the youth on
roads
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 especially inner-city ones which are packed with all kinds of vehicles. The youth ,especially young children, are too young to respond to emergent situations on
roads
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 when they are riding their
bikes
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 and are distracted by all kinds of things on the
roads
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.
Moreover
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, they
also
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 lack the knowledge to tell traffic signs, which put them at risk to be involved in motor vehicle accidents as well. Certainly, investing money in constructing more
roads
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 for cyclists is unwise. Not only the youth, but adults are
also
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 unsuitable to ride bicycles for their daily routine activities. It is impossible for adults to commute daily to work by bike because ,after cycling, riders often sweat a lot and smell bad. For many white collars, their imagines may be influenced if they smell bad or are too sweaty in their offices. Nowadays, workers
also
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 need to commute a long distance to their workplaces so riding a bicycle to work is inefficient for them as compared to taking a train or subway, especially in winter when the weather is extremely harsh.
Moreover
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, many adults need an efficient transport tool to carry their heavy accessible items
such
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 as grocery goods or personal suitcases, and obviously, cycling is not a perfect choice.
Therefore
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, in my view, it is pointless for local governments to invest taxpayers' money in constructing
roads
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 for cycling. Definitely, indoor cycling is a healthy exercise for seniors; but outdoor one is unsuitable for them because
this
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 kind of outdoor activity may increase opportunities for them to be involved in accidents.
For example
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, once they fall down from their
bikes
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, they may have a high chance to suffer from bone fractures or intracranial bleeding. Seniors
also
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 tend to have poor memories due to their deteriorating health conditions, so it is tough for them to remember passwords for their bike lockers. They may encounter more challenges if riding
bikes
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instead
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 of taking public transportation or driving their own cars. For people of all ages, cycling on
roads
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, especially in urban regions, tends to be unsuitable on account of the fact that riding bicycles always exposes riders to all kinds of dangers or it is an impractical activity for riders.
Therefore
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, investing taxpayers' money in constructing
roads
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 for cyclists is foolish for local governments.
Submitted by busybee1693 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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