Some people think that radio has become out-of-date, and there is no need to listen to the radio for entertainment and news. Do you agree or disagree?

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With the advancement of technology and the invention of new tools, most people share a perspective that the radio has become obsolete.

On the other hand

, there are folks who still use the radio for entertainment purposes. In the essay, I will discuss both points of view and share my personal opinion regarding

this

issue. In my opinion, I completely agree that transistors have become archaic.

To begin

with, in

this

modern era, innovation and invention are the buzzwords. With the speedy progress of science, people no longer operate wireless for entertainment or news. They have TVs, computers, internet, laptops, tablets for those purposes. And

this

is because all

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

new equipment

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

folks an opportunity to know about things happening around the world. To illustrate, transistors do not have a broad spectrum

as a result

they cannot provide folks with the information they want. To put it more simply, in the modernised world, humans have better options than radios so why not grasp them.

On the contrary

, there are humans who still operate

wireless

Change the adjective

wirelessly

show examples

for entertainment or announcements. The reason behind it is simple, they operate it because they are sentimentally connected with these devices.

For instance

, walkmans are mostly used by the old citizens and

that is

because they are emotionally connected to these tools and feel nostalgic whenever they use them to listen to music or news.

In other words

, in those old days, there was no other source for communication or listening to the news.

Hence

, they became dependent on walkmans for amusement purposes.

Thus

, they still use walkmans because it is a habit that they have not been able to give up. To conclude, the advancement of technologies has given us a plethora of inventions that are far better than transistors. As mentioned earlier in the essay, I hold the view that radios have become obsolete as compared to them we have far better options for our amusement.

Submitted by maimunazaman474 on Sat Aug 28 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

out-of-date
relevant
portability
rural and remote areas
internet access
sense of community
local engagement
traditional radio
disseminating
crucial information
demographics
primary source
familiarity
ease of use
revitalized
internet radio
podcasts
diverse content
engaged in
emergency situations

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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