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Band 6

People say that a country will benefit greatly if students study abroad. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #country #benefit #students #study
It is a social norm that adolescents regard studying overseas as a chance to change their current lives.
This
 trend can be ascribed to a number of factors and perspectives of it are varied among people. While some claim that
this
 can induce negative impacts on a
country
, I still believe that can help more than harm. On the one hand, I think the primary reason why some people lean against the phenomenon of
students
 studying abroad is that it is likely to cause brain drain.
This
 occurs when a
country
 witnesses unnoticeable growth in each of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 who stay in another
country
 to leave and make ends meet. As a matter
fact
Change preposition
of fact
show examples
, a majority of overseas
students
 decide to settle down the rest of their lives in another
country
 as soon as they are given better living standards as well as higher salaries after graduation. Obviously, the outcomes of the strand present more of a challenge when it comes to the loss of potential figures since every
country
’s development highly depends on its citizens.
Additionally
,
this
 can
also
 reduce the number of young adults who are
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 working ages which would lead to the shortage of employees and affect the economy badly.
On the other hand
, I side with those who advocate that studying abroad is a key factor to develop a
country
.
First
 and foremost, studying in another place which is far from people’s hometown can simply help them experience so many new and helpful things
such
 as traditions, cultures or lifestyles which can broaden their horizons and encourage them to make standout movements or breakthroughs for the sake of improving their
country
’s status. To illustrate, Ho Chi Minh, the most famous president in Vietnam, could reach his decision to change almost all the systems of Vietnam only after going to other countries to learn their ways of controlling and guiding their citizens.
This
 is why
students
 studying abroad can contribute enormously to their countries by learning from other environments.
Last
 but not least, well-behaved and polite
students
 can create a positive image and impression about the
country
 on local people that can bring better coordination between these nations in the near future. In the light of
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 factors, I am convinced that
students
 should be encouraged to study abroad.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 they are supposed to return and work for their
country
instead
 of staying for personal benefits.
Submitted by Như Hảo on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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