The family has a great influence on children’s development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree.

#influence #children’s #development #home #part #life

Nowadays, the development of the education system is more and more improving that aim to teach our young generation how to be better. There are some mentions showed that

society

has a huge impact rather than the family in children’s life.

This

essay aims to agree with the above notice and give some argument to prove

that is

true. It is undeniable that children nowadays spent most of their time in the outside

world

than their home

such

as school. As the result, it is extremely difficult for their parent to supervise as well as teach them in these circumstances. All they can do is just ask them how their days work and warning them to be careful in some situations.

However

, with the incomplete development of children, it is hard for them to imagine what is their parents talking about.

For example

, in an examination, it is hard for parents to explain how shame and disappointment their

kids

can get from their classmate, teacher if they have a low score and the consequence of it in the graduate process.

In addition

society

gives them a real experience. Sometimes, the outside

world

teaches

kids

effectively in a way that their parents cannot.

Nonetheless

, the harshness from the outside

world

not only give them real lessons and teach them what is good or bad, but it

also

gives a result or consequence, which directly impact their

kids

in both positive and negative way.

This

is the big difference between how

society

and the family teach them. In conclusion, the family plays an important role in the development of their children.

However

, the outside

world

takes a bigger influence to teach them how to be better people. The

world

is changing day by day, the family’s education is no longer true. The real lesson from

society

now is taking part in the way their

kids

develop.

Submitted by duyanhoppa1706 on Fri Sep 10 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

nurturing environment
emotional and psychological development
foundational stone
external influences
diverse perspectives
digital media
peer pressure
social circles
intellectual development
structured knowledge
critical thinking skills
cultural and societal norms

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The family has a great influence on children’s development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree.

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Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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