The family has a great influence on children’s development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree.

#influence #children’s #development #home #part #life

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Nowadays, the development of the education system is more and more improving that aim to teach our young generation how to be better. There are some mentions showed that

society

Use synonyms

has a huge impact rather than the family in children’s life.

This

Linking Words

essay aims to agree with the above notice and give some argument to prove

that is

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true. It is undeniable that children nowadays spent most of their time in the outside

world

Use synonyms

than their home

such

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as school. As the result, it is extremely difficult for their parent to supervise as well as teach them in these circumstances. All they can do is just ask them how their days work and warning them to be careful in some situations.

However

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, with the incomplete development of children, it is hard for them to imagine what is their parents talking about.

For example

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, in an examination, it is hard for parents to explain how shame and disappointment their

kids

Use synonyms

can get from their classmate, teacher if they have a low score and the consequence of it in the graduate process.

In addition

Linking Words

society

Use synonyms

gives them a real experience. Sometimes, the outside

world

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teaches

kids

Use synonyms

effectively in a way that their parents cannot.

Nonetheless

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, the harshness from the outside

world

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not only give them real lessons and teach them what is good or bad, but it

also

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gives a result or consequence, which directly impact their

kids

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in both positive and negative way.

This

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is the big difference between how

society

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and the family teach them. In conclusion, the family plays an important role in the development of their children.

However

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, the outside

world

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takes a bigger influence to teach them how to be better people. The

world

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is changing day by day, the family’s education is no longer true. The real lesson from

society

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now is taking part in the way their

kids

Use synonyms

develop.

Submitted by duyanhoppa1706 on Fri Sep 10 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

nurturing environment
emotional and psychological development
foundational stone
external influences
diverse perspectives
digital media
peer pressure
social circles
intellectual development
structured knowledge
critical thinking skills
cultural and societal norms

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The family has a great influence on children’s development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Robots and AI are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

General Training Writing Task 2 It is sometimes said that people should be encourages to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are important as to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?