Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's life. Others think that adult life brings more happiness despite greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Happiness play
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
role in every person's
life
. individuals hold the
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that youngsters are the most joyful period of people's
life
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
others consider that
life
of
adults
brings more
cheerful
Replace the word
cheer
show examples
than burdens.
This
essay will discuss both views along with my opinion. On the one side, some who believe that teenagers
life
is more happiest because they have no workload and depend on their parents for basic needs
such
as food, shelter and clothes.
Moreover
, youngsters have more free
time
for play and to spend
time
with their friends which helps to maintain their physical as well as mental health.
Also
, they are free from tensions about family because
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
does not
invovle
Correct your spelling
involve
them in family issues .
In addition
to
this
children are unaware about expenditure so they enjoy their
life
more because their all demands
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
by their guardians. On the other side , some think and in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
adults
leads to more enjoyable times because
adults
are free to move and they do not need to take permission from anyone and can spend money without giving it
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
thought so they can better cheers their
life
.
Also
,
adults
are good at maintaining
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
between work and leisure activities.
For instance
, many
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
after their work or study to stay physically fit and to reduce work stress.
Furthermore
,
adults
enjoying
time
with their
life
partner and offspring which give them more pleasure. To conclude,
although
babies enjoy their
life
because they are free from stress and burdens have a lot of
time
indoor and outdoor activities ;
however
,I believe that
adults
enjoy
time
with their
lover
Replace the word
loved
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
and family.
Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: