Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Many people claim that

music

can bridge the generation gap and connect humans from diverse cultures. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

point of view. On the one hand,

music

is a way to combine various cultures and people who have different ages. When they have the same kind of

music

, they can share and join together even though they don’t know each other.

For example

, during the concerts of world-famous artists

such

as Taylor Swift, we can see thousands of audiences from diverse countries around the world standing together and immersing themselves in the

music

even though they don’t speak the same language, skin

color

Change the spelling

colour

show examples

, but they still cheer for their idol.

Furthermore

, many couples find real love as they are in the same fandom.

As a result

music

can make a relationship between people all around the world.

On the other hand

music

is like medicine that heals our souls and , makes us feel better. After finishing a long day of studying at school, I often listen to soft

music

, which not only relieves my pressure but

also

makes it easier to sleep. (đưa ra dẫn chứng thì đừng sử dụng “I”, vì nó chủ quan á)

Besides

, researchers have shown that pregnant women should listen to

music

to be good for the development of the baby.

Moreover

, we can improve our listening skills by listening to English

music

. In conclusion,

music

plays an important role in daily life that humans can not deny. It creates a bond between generations and maintains a happy life.

Submitted by hnphu79 on Mon Sep 27 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Q. People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and traditions of the new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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