IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many university students feel literature boring and unnecessary. Why is this case? Is there any benefit for this?

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There is a fact that several higher education
students
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 find
literature
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 tedious and unessential. From the perspective of the writer, the primary cause for
this
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 comes from the teacher systems but it has many beneficial effects on human lives.
Initially
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, it is apparent that the crucial reason regards the quality of teachers at schools. Indeed, an engaging teacher who can energize the class or even has in-depth knowledge and teaching skills has more abilities to make
students
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 have more interest in
literature
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.
In contrast
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, an inexperienced teacher does not have enough teaching skills and methods and simply teaches their
students
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 based on the predefined plan.
As a result
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, their enthusiasm for
this
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 field of study will decline in the long term and even become their hated subject. Take the Vietnamese education systems in the past as an example,
according to
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 many surveys recently, there was over 70% of
students
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 dislike
literature
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due to
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 the poor standard of teachers. Regarding the advantage of
this
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 subject, it can be seen that
literature
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 can broaden student’s horizons in different ways. To clarify, in the science world, the researchers are just aware of everything as its nature like a cat is a normal animal with four legs and smooth fur.
Conversely
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, in the artistic world, it is not only considered a friendly friend but
also
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 seems to be a hero or a symbol of a culture.
Hence
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, through
literature
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,
students
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 can gain deeper insights into the world so it will be useful for them to manage lots of difficult circumstances in the near future.
To sum up
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, the main reason for
this
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 issue is the quality of teachers at school.
However
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, if
students
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 find
literature
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 as their favourite subject, they can have a widespread perspective.

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task achievement
While the essay answers the prompt adequately, there are moments where the clarity of ideas can be improved. For instance, the explanation for why teachers are seen as the primary cause could be more concise.
task achievement
Adding more specific examples and evidence can make your arguments more compelling and credible. For instance, citing studies or anecdotes can help substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. For instance, using linking words and phrases can help to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces and concludes the topics well. Keep this strong point while also working on ensuring that the introduction clearly sets up the primary points you will discuss later.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, summarizing and framing the essay well.
task achievement
The essay attempts to support its arguments with relevant examples, which adds depth to the discussion.
task achievement
You successfully recognize both sides of the topic—why literature may be seen as boring and what benefits it holds.
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