Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate
over reaching
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overreaching
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family
history
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.
While
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some claim that it is necessary for
people
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to investigate family
history
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, the opposite makes a statement that concentrating on the present and the future generations is more important.
While
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the former is valid to some extent, I regard myself as an advocate of the latter. Without a shadow of a doubt, investigating family
history
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is essential. Doing research assists
people
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understand
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in understanding
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their family tree.
Additionally
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, research creates
favorable
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favourable
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conditions to discover biological aspects which are conducive for doctors to find out the treatment of genetic diseases. To be more specific, some genes or DNA have hints for doctors to be able to effectively diagnose the possibility of infection
such
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as asthma or cancer.
Hence
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, investigating family
history
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is quite essential.
While
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the redeeming features of research are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if concentrating on the present and future generations is ignored, which plays a paramount significant role.
This
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might probably be because they are the
people
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who can be present to aid us promptly whenever we are in need of help.
For example
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, when we have financial problems, our parents, cousins, siblings, or relatives are the
people
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who can help us.
Therefore
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, they are the
people
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who should be focused on in terms of spending time looking after them and strengthening the bonds among family members. In a nutshell, both viewpoints on researching family
history
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have their own merits. I believe that future generations should be put into the priority.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task response
To enhance task response, ensure that your essay explicitly addresses all parts of the prompt. Although you've discussed both viewpoints and provided your opinion, deepening your analysis and offering more nuanced insights or solutions could make your response more comprehensive and persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, maintain a clear and logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. You've done well in structuring your essay and connecting ideas. To further improve, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to smoothly guide the reader from one idea to the next.
task response
To boost the score in task achievement, focus on developing your arguments with more specific, detailed examples and evidence. While you have included examples, making them more detailed and directly linked to your arguments will enhance the depth and persuasiveness of your essay.
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