IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out? What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address the issue?

#people #home #address
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Thought out the world the issue
about
Change preposition
of
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 feeling insecure indoors and outdoors is
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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 dramatically.
People
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern society feel anxious about their safety and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and find out how to overcome it.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 afraid of going out because of
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
an increasing
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 rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime wherever they are. Antisocial
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 caused by unemployment and not being able to enter normal social life. The rate of crime in every country raised a lot during
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
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 pandemic and the risk of
violence
Use synonyms
 and
Correct your spelling
sexual harassment
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sexual-harassment
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sexual harassment
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 is much higher compared to the past,
therefore
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 are not willing to go out every weekend and stay for long.
Moreover
Linking Words
, nowadays staying at home is
more
Add an article
a more
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 significant issue than going out, because domestic
violence
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 is being
Correct your spelling
spread
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
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 out dramatically. In family
life
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,life
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 one of the partners
suffer
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suffers
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 from physical and mental
violence
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. In many
cases
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,cases
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 they are not able to stop it or get help, so it
continiouses
Correct your spelling
continues
 till the end. The solution for antisocial
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
,
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apply
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 is to increase
work place
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workplace
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 from the government’s actions and approve equal
salary
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salaries
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 for employees. For particularly
these
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those
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 who do not suffer due to unemployment but still make a crime the government should provide psychological treatment. What about domestic
violence
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, the social organizations should analyse the actions of
people
Use synonyms
 hailing from broken homes and families with worse conditions in order to prevent the worst ending. To conclude, the social problem make
people
Use synonyms
affraid
Correct your spelling
afraid
 of going out or staying home, so the many
action
Change to a plural noun
actions
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 from the government should be able to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perceive
  • Threat
  • Crime
  • Fear
  • Accident
  • Natural disaster
  • Personal security
  • Trust
  • Authorities
  • Social isolation
  • Loneliness
  • Media
  • News coverage
  • Community safety measures
  • Personal security awareness
  • Transparency
  • Support networks
  • Community involvement
What to do next:
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