Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

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Some

people

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believe that being rich is the major way to make a happy life. It is undeniable that having a lot of

money

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would make

people

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Change the verb form

apply

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have a good quality of life.

This

Linking Words

essay will present the facts

how

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of how

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it might make

people

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happy, and what other factors that can do the same.

First

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of all,

people

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need

money

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fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

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their needs,

such

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as buying some foods, paying for the rent, paying for medicines, etc. At the same time, societies use social status by comparing

Add an article

the amount

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amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

money

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Therefore

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, it can be seen that a

millionair

Correct your spelling

millionaire

can buy everything to meet their desires, like travelling aboard or having expensive

seafoods

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seafood

kinds of seafood

plates of seafood

show examples

Moreover

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, rich

people

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can effort to buy some luxury items which could represent their wealth. Generally, they are

consumerisms

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consumers

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who believe that they have

good

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a good

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life if they have more

money

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Nevertheless

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, there are other factors making

Add an article

an individual

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individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

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happy.

Firstly

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, having

meaningful

Add an article

a meaningful

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family and friends can

also

Linking Words

help one

feeling

Wrong verb form

feel

show examples

great.

Secondly

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, some elderly

people

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feel well by just seeing the sea.

Lastly

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, being healthy makes

people

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feeling

Wrong verb form

feel

show examples

energitic

Correct your spelling

energetic

that

money

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could not buy.

For instance

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, illness means one has to stay at the hospital and cannot do

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

much

Correct your spelling

such

show examples

activities.

This

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is what

heathier

Correct your spelling

healthier

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is happier than having more

money

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. In conclusion, owning more

money

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could make

people

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happier in many aspects.

However

Linking Words

, not all

Change preposition

apply

show examples

things

Add an article

the things

show examples

could be purchased

Change preposition

with

show examples

money

Use synonyms

. It can be

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

relationship, looking at the nice view, and

stay

Wrong verb form

staying

show examples

healthy. All of these factors are what can make

people

Use synonyms

happy as well.

Submitted by kanokwann.joy on Tue Nov 09 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do a different kind of jobs. Do you agree or disagree?

Young people’s ideas and attitudes are different from those of their parents and grandparents. What are the differences? What problems may be caused?

Some people believe that life in a big city is difficult while others say that it is more convenient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.