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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some People think that students in high school should not waste their time studying literature, such as poems and novels. Do you agree?

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Netizens claim learning written art
such
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 as novels and poems does not improve students’ intelligence. I am afraid that I strongly disagree with that statement.
Such
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 art learning could potentially increase a student’s brain function more than conventional studies could do.
Moreover
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, that branch of learning is a way to archive various
events
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.
Firstly
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, researching literature is an activity to improve students’ brain power as it will encourage the writers to convert their thinking into notes.
Nonetheless
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,
People
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 find it difficult to do. That problem can push the makers to improve their way of imagination using their creativity.
As a result
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, it will enhance their cognitive abilities, leading to an increase in that. There are other ways to improve them, but writing has a strong amount of percentages. Studies show that
people
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 who spend of their time on writing for 20% will improve their thinking to become more out of the box.
That is
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 evidence that activity can improve writers' academic levels.
Secondly
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, Literature can become a medium to achieve important
events
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 in the writers’ timeline. They often take inspiration from real-life
events
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. Most
people
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 will forget an important accident as time passes. Those are the solutions for making a memorial for various
events
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 at that age. Engaging students to study literature can make them a book author and their projects can be a part of preserving history.
Additionally
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, their study can be consumed by many
people
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 from different eras. Galileo Galilei, a student, is the perfect example of that. His studies in planetary
events
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 on earth are mostly turned into a book by himself. In
this
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 modern era,
People
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 still could see his notes of
events
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 that were formed into a book. In general, I strongly disagree with the statement to put aside writing activity.
Besides
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 making
people
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 smarter, their creation can be a medium to record various
events
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 in that era.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. For example, you could use more transitional phrases to link your points more cohesively.
language
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, especially in sentence structure and word choice. This will enhance the readability and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Try to enrich your essay with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. This will make your points more convincing.
task response
You have clearly stated your position and provided reasons for your disagreement with the initial statement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an organized structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The points you make are relevant and support your main argument well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • empathy
  • cultural heritage
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • expressive ability
  • creativity
  • balanced curriculum
  • humanities
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • historical context
  • cognitive development
  • discursive essays
  • literary analysis
  • narrative techniques
  • genre conventions
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