Some people believe that children should be made disciplined by making them obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Others, however, believe that those children who are controlled are not well prepared to tackle the challenges life brings to them.

Some people have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
opition
Correct your spelling
option
opinion
that
children
should follow the orders and rules laid down by
thier
Correct your spelling
their
parents
and teachers ,and should be disciplined by
thier
Correct your spelling
their
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
some believe that
such
children
are not ready to face challenges and
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
that might come along the way.In
this
Correct your spelling
essay
eassy
Add a comma
,eassy
show examples
we will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
option in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
. On the one hand ,
Parents
and teachers can be
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excellent
life
coach
Fix the agreement mistake
coaches
show examples
since they have
exprienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
all
challeges
Correct your spelling
challenges
in
life
and have overcome them. They can prepare and make them disciplined by making them follow the rules and put them on the right
path
.They can make them follow the right
path
by forcing them to follow a single
path
. But on other hand , though
parents
and teachers
intention
Fix the agreement mistake
intentions
show examples
are always good and they want
Correct your spelling
what's
show examples
whats
Correct your spelling
what's
show examples
best for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
child
.
This
decision
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
taken with good
intenet
Correct your spelling
internet
intent
it may not be best for the
child
since they may not like it and feel that
ther
Correct your spelling
they
there
are controlled against
thier
Correct your spelling
their
own will.In some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
if
parents
have laid down a
path
for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
child
and they have
order
Change the verb form
ordered
show examples
them to follow it , due to some reason it some
problem
occurs
this
child
are not aware how to tackle
such
problem
since they are not
devopled
Correct your spelling
developed
the sense to overcome
such
problem
.I have seen
this
problem
with one of my
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
who's
Correct your spelling
whose
show examples
parents
forced him to become
a
Change the article
an
show examples
enginneer
Correct your spelling
engineer
but he was not
intreasted
Correct your spelling
interested
in
Correct your spelling
technical
techincal
Correct article usage
the techincal
show examples
field.The time he failed due to lack of
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
and after trying
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a huge number
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
Add an article
the time
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
he was not and not sure what to do with his
life
.He was not ready to face the challenged that if he failed the
path
his parent decided for him. In conclusion ,
children
should
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
own
path
but with
Correct your spelling
guidance
guidence
Correct article usage
the guidence
show examples
of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
parents
.
Although
parents
may have a good intention , they should
disccuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
other
opition
Correct your spelling
option
opinion
with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
children
so they are not forced and
children
are ready to face
life
challenges on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
own.
Submitted by surajgadhvi92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: