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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts shows air pollution levels by different causes among four countries in 2021. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts shows air pollution levels by different causes among four countries in 2021. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the air pollution caused by three different levels
such
Linking Words
 as electricity generation, transport, and industry in four nations in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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2021 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, China showed the highest entity by atmosphere infection,
while
Linking Words
 Australia experienced the least significant
small-particles
Correct your spelling
small particles
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.
However
Linking Words
, the
ppm
Use synonyms
 standard in commerce had some fluctuation across the various countries. China had the higher
ppm
Use synonyms
 entity in wind infection, with a rate of around 59
ppm
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 in electricity rising to above 70
ppm
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 in public transportation, and reaching 80%
in
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for
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 industrial purposes.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Australia had the lowest
ppm
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 in smogginess, at almost
19ppm
Correct your spelling
19 ppm
 in electric current.
However
Linking Words
, the
ppm
Use synonyms
 entity remained steady at approximately 18 units in shipment and business. The breeze deterioration amount in America, with 30
ppm
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 in electricity usage rising to just under 58% in transit,
while
Linking Words
 trade performed almost 40%.
Hence
Linking Words
 in Japan, the deterioration rate
in
Change preposition
for
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 three causes was about 15
ppm
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, 30
ppm
Use synonyms
, and 42
ppm
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ppm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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