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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many working people get little time or no exercise during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #time #exercise #health
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It is often said that employed adults do not have adequate time for
sports
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 during weekdays or even holidays which have caused a variety of illnesses and
health
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 issues. The following essay will be discussed regarding two aspects - daily lifestyle and public sport infrastructures and the possible solutions.
First
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 of all, the normal working of a typical working adult is eight
hours
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 daily,
however
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, a local survey has indicated that in Hong Kong, the average working hour is 11
hours
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 due to overtime. It
also
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 means that except for working, dining and sleeping, their spare time has only got two to three
hours
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 left.
In addition
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, some jobs have different requirements on the working pattern,
for example
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, six working days a week and anytime on-call. Labours working in restaurants and retail shops are usually requested to work on shift.
Therefore
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, they could bearly arrange a regular fitness routine as same as doctors and police who needed to be ready to take up emergency duties.
Finally
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, as same as a normal company, public
sports
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 amenities
such
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 as gymnasiums and running courts have their regular office
hours
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 which
also
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 have limited quotas while many private
sports
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 centres are offering a more expensive price. In that case, the adults do not have many options for a
sports
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 venue. To deal with the unreasonably long working
hours
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, a comprehensive policy and guidance should be set up by governments for employers to follow
such
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 as fully-covered
health
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 and medical insurance has to be brought for all employees so as to maintain good
health
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 condition and restriction of overtime payment.
Furthermore
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, to provide more opportunities for people to do
sports
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, the government could subsidise the private
sports
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 centres in order to lower the cost of joining a
sports
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 membership for the public. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly that lack of exercising will damage an adult's
health
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,
therefore
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, to rectify
this
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 situation, governments should give a hand on regulating the company policy and provide more affordable
sports
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 centre to the public.
Submitted by tsoiwingtung24 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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