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Band 6.5

Some people believe that purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #purpose #education #society #individuals #ambitions
A discussion on Education has always been permeative and immanent between intellectuals .
although
 some citizens think the learning process will help the offspring to catch their dreams .
on the other hand
 another group claimed that knowledge must be prioritized to serve the country . I am in complete accord with the latter opinion and the reason for that will be elucidated in forthcoming paragraphs.
first
 and foremost I believed the eminent adage that childhood shows the man, as the morning shows the day. Education is the
first
 priority over all the whole global .
Furthermore
 , the government must afford Education to be available for all the people
however
 educated new generation will rise and their main goal is to serve the non-educated citizens .
For example
 , they must serve the health by treating their patient or building new economical projects.
although
 the most valuable is to spread
this
 belief between all the people.
on the other hand
 ,there is a group of citizens who believes in the importance of studying even though they are all in mutual understanding to get their personal profit in return.
although
that is
 their right , they must consider the area they are
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 that will produce a new selfish generation.
Hence
 conclusively, I believe that learning and schooling are essential for all new generations
in addition
 to adults .
although
 , gaining knowledge must be used to serve the community we live
hence
 strong nations will shine . rather than to use to claim personal benefits like money or prestigious rank between the citizen .
Submitted by tamorah2020 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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